I was one of many people invited by author M.P.
Johnson to attend the Bizarro Bash, which he was organizing to coincide with
the Associated Writers Press Conference being held in Minneapolis. The last (and first) time that I saw these
people was BizzaroCon back in November 2014.
I thought it would be a good excuse to travel. I decided the trip would be worthwhile due to
the blogging material potential, especially for my photography blog: Scene
Trip.
Friday
I arrived at the airport early enough to buy
coffee. I was leaning toward Starbucks
until I heard an old couple discussing how McDonald’s would have cheaper
coffee. So I actually went to McDonald’s. I snagged some Starbucks sugars and other
additions, getting the best of both worlds.
The airline crew was in an exceptional mood on the
Friday of my departure. It was announced
that someone dropped something. When
people looked up, the young woman said, “Now that I’ve got your attention…” and
she proceeded to go over the policies and safety procedures. Another standout joke came when she explained
the no smoking policy; she announced that they do have designated smoking areas, one on each wing, where the
feature presentation will be Gone with
the Wind. It was a fun flight and
relatively quiet.
There were reports of snow when we departed but you
wouldn’t know it when we landed.
However, other thrills awaited me.
The Minneapolis/St. Paul airport is a world class airport that must
surely be one of the world’s best. The
airport mall was filled to the brim with dining and shopping options and it was
very clean and shiny unlike the notorious LAX.
Three places stood out. First, I
noticed the regional coffee chain, Caribou Coffee. I ordered a blended mocha and I loved the
super pale baristas. There was a man and
a woman. The young man gave me a Lone
Gunmen vibe with his long light-blonde hair worn in a ponytail, his glasses,
and a similar voice. Second, I noticed a Fox News store, which almost
struck me as a practical joke played on the region (and representative of very
different politics). Lastly, there was a
Native American themed store, Spirit of the Red Horse. It was pretty inauthentic from the looks of
it, but, nonetheless, intriguing to see.
There are two terminals, which are connected by
tram. Then the airport is connected by
light rail to Mall of America (and points in between) to the south, and
downtown Minneapolis (and points in between) to the north. Overall, the airport provided a very
welcoming introduction to the area.
Checking into the hostel was not without minor
issues, yet the overall experience was pleasant. It wasn’t long after check-in that I had to
head straight to The Cabooze for a late-night rock music show, the kind with a
cheap cover charge. However, before I
left, I had a nice and short conversation with the male manager. I claimed a seat in a secluded tier in the
back. I had the section to myself most
of the night. Sadly, I sat for a whole
hour before the show even began. The
show lasted for four hours, which meant that I sat there for five hours without
any drinks or food because funds were limited.
The highlights were (1) the second band, Little Man, (2) the guitarist,
with cool wavy blonde hair and even cooler moves, from The Red Daughters, and
(3) some sax and pedal-heavy songs from the headliners, Ghost Towns of the
West. This was for an assignment for my community
college rock music class. Taking care of
class business made the trip all the more worthwhile.
Saturday
Saturday morning I discovered the classical radio station
KSJN 99.5, one of the few remaining full-time classical radio stations in the
country. KSJN has a really neat Saturday
morning program that features Hollywood tunes in the classical tradition. My first stop was the University of
Minnesota, Minneapolis. It was a
beautiful, sunny morning on a nice campus.
From there I went to Boom Island Park on the east bank of the
Mississippi River. Then I went to Mall
of America. Mall of America is four
stories of shopping and dining surrounding an indoor amusement park. There is also an underground aquarium. It lived up to its reputation. Then I walked
over to The Ramada (historic Thunderbird Hotel), which was rather underwhelming. Then it was time for the Bizarro Bash, the
original reason for the trip.
The Bizarro Bash was held at Grumpy’s Bar &
Grill, east of the city center. It was
more packed than I would have liked. The
readings were generally underwhelming compared to BizarroCon, which features
the best of the best. I didn’t get any
photos. I didn’t socialize much. However, I learned of a writer, which gave
the trip some networking value. That writer
is Eric Hendrixson. He was far and away
the highlight of the evening. He read a
hilarious piece catering to writers and editors about rejection. The story is about a young woman who submits
unrelated poetry to a publication entitled The
Horse Fucker Review one too many times.
This reading alone offset all the disappointments.
Afterwards, I visited a candy store called Candyland located just
off of Nicollet Mall. I bought some rock
candy and decided to return to my lodgings early since the previous night had
been such a late one. I had a nice time
staying up in the “living room” with some complementary coffee while reviewing
photos and videos, tending to my social media, and otherwise relaxing while the
sounds of KSJN graced the otherwise quiet space. During that night, I had another pleasant conversation
with the male manager.
Sunday
I reserved my entire meal budget, with the exception
of coffee beverages, for Sunday. I had
breakfast at The Bad Waitress diner (Out-Of-This-Earth Scramble) and lunch at
Quang Restaurant (plain pho with onions).
The Bad Waitress is distinct because servers don’t take your order or
seat you (unless you’re a large party).
Customers take a seat wherever they choose and write down their own
orders and present them at the register.
Then you pay. You take your seat
again and wait for the food and that’s it.
It was a nice, down to Earth experience.
Following breakfast, I enjoyed a bike ride from my
hostel down to the northern tip of Lake Harriet and back, riding the length of
Lake Calhoun. I also visited the southern
tip of Lake of the Isles. My last stop
was the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden before revisiting the city center one more
time before returning to the airport. Unfortunately, I never took any pictures of
the airport mall because I figured that it would create problems if I took out
my DSLR in this highly secured environment.
That’s another reason to get a cell phone/camera.
The returning flight was not as fun. There were unruly/fussy little kids and
babies. The crew was not humorous. And, of course, the fun and the weekend were
ending. I then had to wait longer than
ideal for the LAX Flyaway shuttle, which led to an even longer wait at the
train station for the last Pacific Surfliner of the night, which was delayed an
hour. However, KJAZZ was broadcasting a
nice LACMA Kathleen Grace concert during the LAX Flyaway ride. I also got lucky and didn’t have to pay.
Although the trip went out with a whimper, the
overall experience was a hopping one, at least as hopping as it gets for me.
Kill Ball by Carlton Mellick III
